How to talk to people?

An incident: One person approached the great Greek philosopher, “Socrates’’ and said that he would like to say something against one of his disciples.

For that Socrates replied like this: “I don’t know whether you are telling the truth or false and also you are not uttering any good thing about him. You are also saying that moreover this matter is not useful to both of us. So why are you telling me such useless things? And also why should I listen to you?”

After listening to it, the person left that place, without speaking further and with a gloomy face. So we must always keep one thing in our minds, i.e.; Speech is a boon given to us by God. God gifted Human race with this amazing power of talking, ultimate communication.

Techniques of Public speaking:

1. Never try to speak unnecessarily, otherwise simply it is wasting of our energy (electric power present in our body).

2. Every word that we say should have some meaning and be useful and it should not hurt others.

3. Our word should be reasonable and it must be believed by others. As there is tongue in our mouth, it does not mean that we are free birds speaking for twenty four hours.

4. Our speech should be precise and up to the point only, and not more than that.

5. Our speech should contain – no harsh and sharp words like bullets or arrow-like in nature.

6. Keep yourself away from criticizing others and also passing baseless comments against others. Otherwise they also reply to us in the same way, which gives us trouble and left us without mental peace.

7. Our speech should not make us others getting angry and spoil their moods and does not make the situation worse.

8. Your speech must be kind –hearted like and be filled with sweetness and loving in nature.
The golden word is: “The tongue has no bones, but it breaks the bones.’’

The tongue is very smooth and soft in nature and appears to be very innocent, residing in a cavity, that is, the mouth. But it has got such a capacity, that it created havocs in the history of the mankind.

Always pray to God as given below:

“Allow my ears to listen to good and fruitful words only. Make my body and senses to be firm, and not to be taken by harmful attractions and other bad things (habits). Keep me healthy (as health is wealth). Always you should be glorified by my speech and acts.’’

If you talk to people in this way, it will enhance your personality.

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How to behave with neighbors?

Man is a social being and he cannot live alone in this, (especially) busy modern world.
From dawn to dusk, he has to mingle and mix with many number of people whom he come a cross daily and has to work together with them either in the office or in other fields where he has to do his job.

At his residence (house), also he has to maintain good relation ship and rapport with his neighbors.

It is strange but true, many a time we actually don’t know, who is our neighbor? Such is the situation often we face. With the help of these tips, we can maintain good co-ordeal relationship, especially with our neighbors and also others.

1. First of all, take initiative and talk to your neighbor with a smiling face, (even if you’re very busy), if you happened to see him face to face. Never wait thinking that your neighbor should take the initiative.

2. Never forget to invite your neighbors for the functions and for any other happy occasions, which might take place in your home often and on.

3. Often and on, arrange small get-together parties and invite your neighbors.

4. Move with them freely, but never try to take undue advantage of interfering with their personal affairs and also not involve deeply yourself in their matters.

5. But lf they tell anything to you, just listen to what they so and keep quiet. Otherwise, politely tell them, that you have no time.

6. Persons without any work or job, never keep quiet, but go on spreading rumors and passing unnecessary comments against others. Never participate yourself in such type of discussions.
Better to be calm in such type of situations.

The golden word is: ‘’Speech is silver, but silence is golden.’’

7. If there are more than three or four families in your locality, maintain friendship and relationship equally with all of them, otherwise there are every chances of developing groupism.

8. Even if you are having thick and thin relationship with your neighbors, but never visit their homes after 8 pm (in the night time).

9. If any one of your neighbor is suffering from any ailment or in any need, immediately make available yourself and respond to their need immediately.

Golden word is: "A friend in need is a friend indeed’’.

10. Never give free advices, which are unnecessarily inviting troubles. If they seek your help or advice, give your valuable opinion or advice to them.

11. If you prepare any new variety of recipes, offer it to them and obtain their suggestions.

12. If you happened to pay a visit to new places, purchase any new articles there, and give them as presentations to your neighboring friends, which help in developing good rapport among yourselves.

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How to behave with superiors in office?

The way of your working in the office is also part of your behavior. If everyone works in coordinate manner, office environment is conducive to do better work. Bad behavior by one member can spoil the office environment. That’s why group discussion, communication skills and working in a team are playing vital roles in getting good jobs. Your good behavior with superiors in an office will enhance your personality and you can command respect from juniors. officers may have different personalities but we should apply smart tactics in dealing with superiors with difficult personality.

How to behave with superiors?
1. It is not good to discuss your personal matters with your higher official and also at the same time not good to seek the advice or opinion of your officer, the solutions for your personal problems. Because their advice or suggestions may not be likened by you and also some times you have to obey and act as per their advice, under duress which may be not conducive to the situation and may bring further trouble to you.

2. Never discuss with your superior officer about your money or property matters and also about your debts. It is well and good not to be known by them.

3. Keep away from the rumors that are spreading in your office by some body and also never tell about them to your officer.

4. Try to solve the problems or the doubts regarding the work in office matters, which you might have with your colleagues by discussing with them. If not possible, bring them to the notice of the officer and the officer in turn will settle the matters in group meetings.

5. Do your duty sincerely and dedicatedly, so that you need not say sorry to your officer often.

6. Keep yourself away from the quarrels or misunderstandings that may arise among the staff members.

7. Never give promise to any body to perform those tasks which are beyond your capacity to do. Otherwise you are unnecessarily inviting troubles and it tarnishes the good name gained by you in your office.

8. If you have any physical or psychological problems, inform to your superior officer and discuss about it with him without hesitation. Otherwise, it hampers your work indirectly and the officer may develop wrong impression about your working capacity. That is why it is better to make it known to them by you honestly, as sincerity always pays.

9. As your officer is an experienced person, observe him carefully and also his way of discharging the duties, it not only benefits you but also helps you in handling the office matters.

“Obedience is the secret of success” and it does wonders in your life.

By knowing how to talk and also how to behave, depending upon the place and time, we can safely avoid and be away from so many problems, in our daily life.

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Role of Smile in Personality Development

Smile on your face is enough to change your surroundings. Smiling face is like sunshine. It is a wonderful feeling to be greeted by a complete stranger with a friendly smile. It is a nice feeling to smile and be smiled at. Smile does wonders in our real lives. A smile can set you free from bonds like sorrows and worries. Smiling face plays a vital role in the enhancement of one's personality.

The smiles of Leonardo Da Vinci’s Monalisa painting brings cheer to every heart and also for that matter, the smile of a baby brings same sensation in our hearts. A pure smile can generate positive vibes not only in a home but also at your working place (office).

When you smile, it will be returned, definitely. Life prolongs our life- expectancy period.
Smile costs us little energy and brings us happier. If you want to be serious (remaining angry), all the 64 muscles in your face have to come into action. But, if you wish to be happy or smile only 13 muscles action is needed.

If you go into history, the smile did such a glorious thing that it saved one person from death.

During the Spanish civil war, Antoine de Saint Exupery was captured and kept in prison cell. It was clear without any shadow of doubt that he would be put to death the next day, by the authorities. Saint Exupery wanted to smoke, as he had no matches, he requested the jailer if he had matches.

While lightening the cigarette , the jailer accidentally made eye contact with Saint Exupery who was smiling (without any reason). Even though, the jailor tried to be stiff, but the smile of the Saint Exupery drew the jailor into conversation and he also laughed. What happened soon after was that the jailor helped the saint to escape from the prison and saved him from death.

More over, man is the only the living being who can smile, in the whole creation of God, the Almighty. It is the gift given to humans by God. If you see any one without smile, give one of yours.

Smile costs us nothing, but fetches many dividends. So smile wholeheartedly and earn profits in real life.

But never forget the golden rule: “Laugh with a friend, but not laugh at a friend”. Never hurt your friends with rude jokes and comments. Human life is a wonderful thing and makes it happier with a little smile.

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Tips for happy and stress free life

Quote: Try hard to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you like get.

The secret of happiness lies in the simplification of life. Simple living encourages high thinking and leads to contentment which in turn gives us “inner wealth”, i.e. the wealth of the mind and of the soul.

A contented man devotes himself to virtues like: Truth, beauty, love, goodness, kindness and charity. By pursuing and inculcating the above virtues, a man can feel true happiness.

I do not mean that for simplification of life, a man should become an ascetic which may be considered as negative kind of happiness. But to have that positive kind of happiness, in this present day of speedy and stressful life, we have to faithfully carry out our responsibilities to our career, home and the country.

All this should be done in the light and spirit of selfless service. If you wish sincerely to lead a happy life, you should also make others happy, thereby; you taste real and lasting happiness. There is a kind of joy in serving others with virtuous motives and in sacrificing what one has for the good of others. An act of goodness is in itself an act of happiness.

There is a sense of happiness in doing ones work honestly and efficiently. One more good quality for perfect happiness lies in renunciation (of some comforts). Wealth may give us joy for a while and fame may provide us with fleeting excitement.

They can’t give us permanent happiness. For example, you have read the stories of kings of those yesteryears and biographies of present-days’ dictators who had everything to make them happy and yet they felt and lead unhappy lives and some of them committed suicides even. Why?

The main cause is they have not practiced renunciation. Some of them were of the opinion that they knew every thing and considered themselves superior to God. That was one of the causes of their downfall sad endings of their valuable lives.

In doing our duty sincerely, we often feel peace of mind, which is an essential part of happiness. The stings of misfortune spare none. But they will not cow us, if we sincerely cultivate the spirit of renunciation, self –sacrifice, contentment and show dedication in our work (job or duty).
Quote: “He who controls himself can control others and he is considered the richest man on this earth who practices contentment with what he earns honestly (may be in small measures) in daily life.”

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Laughing - Tips and advice

Laugh is a boon given to man by the nature (God). But we are not utilizing it properly.
A child laughs 400 times in a day. The teenager and an adult laugh 17 times in a day. See the difference. It clearly shows that laughing is gradually in decline stage as the age advances.
Stress is the main cause for lack of laughing. It is not good to be affected by stress. So laugh happly often.

Laughing tips:

1. Begin your every morning with a laugh.
2. Stand before the mirror and wish yourself with laughing face.
3. Laughing gives:

1. Courage.
2. New energy
3. Self-confidence.
4. Relaxion to the nerves.

REMEMBER: Smile is fragile. Suppose when you are in happy mood, suddenly you receive a phone call and laugh in your face disappears. But how many days would you like to live with such changing moods.

Get rid of these bad feelings. Always think positively. Be confident on yourselves.

If anybody passes a comment on you, never put a sorrow figure in front of him, as it gives pleasure to him. So you should be bold and be happy. Never give such an opportunity to others.
Make your smile cheaper -that means laughing more frequently.

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How to live happily with hope and courage

Hope is life. Yes, hope is the driving force and it pushes the life forward and makes the life fruitful and worthiness for living. Positive thinking will enhance the life standards and reduces the stress levels.

These following 10 points will help you to have a life with full of hope and positive thoughts.

1. Never get despair yourself for every simple defeat and take strong decision to work harder than the previous attempt.

2. Don’t be always in a hurry mood, as hurry makes you worry. Have the patience and wait for some more time looking hopefully for the result. Certainly you will get the good result, as per the hard labor put by you.

3. Never show sympathy upon yourself. Instead you make yourself more capable and dependable.

4. Never allow anxiety to overtake you. Develop this type of thinking as, still what I have to do?

5. People around you, are needn’t be either your supporters or opposites, your thinking must be in that manner. Moreover they are busy in their daily chores, that point you must ever keep in mind ever.

6. It is very difficult to please everyone always.
The quotation is like this: ‘’If you want to please all, you please none’’.

7. Never afraid of the changes that may occur in the circumstances where you are working but try adjust to them which gives relief from stress and strain.

8. be of the opinion that you are helping others and not think like that others are utilizing you.

9. Never worry that you are in troubles and there is no way out.
But remember the quotation: ‘’Where there is will, there is a way’’. For every problem, there is a solution.

10. You have got your thinking capacity and you need not depend on others for simple things.
Speak to others sincerely and live heart fully. Always laugh with others (it is not good to laugh at others).

Be friendly with others as far as possible. Be plain in your dealings. A sincere person is always liked by others.

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Control your desires

Men have three types of desires, i.e. desires of the eyes, of body and the desire for more amount of money. Controlled desire will help to achieve our goals but excessive desires are the root cause for stress in modern life due to lack satisfaction. Goals and desires are the tools to achieve great things in life but setting up right goals and controlling desires are the difficult tasks in life. Great leaders have burning desires to achieve their goal but not on materialistic things like money and women. Lack of desire makes you feel boredom in life.

Bad desires:

1. Desires of the eyes:

Never desire for everything which is seen by the eyes. For example your neighbor might have purchased a big-sized car or TV, maybe he is very rich and your economic position does not permit you to offer that much big sized articles. So go as per the size of your pocket. Hence do not compete with others unnecessarily.

2. Bodily desires:

Body also desires which appears beautiful and attractive. Who knows, whether it does well or bad to our body. For example, fire appears bright and reddish and if we touch it, it burns our fingers and brings deep pain instead of happiness.

3. Greediness (desire for excess amount of money):

Everybody needs money, no doubt. But some people, even though, they have sufficient amount of money to meet their every need and personal requirements, still they crave for money. They won’t satisfy with the amount they earn legally. But they want to earn money by hook or by crook. For example, money-lending business at too much high interest rate, purchasing lottery tickets and doing other dirty things for the sake of easy ways of earning money, etc. They always are under tension and lose their health and finally the entire money will be spent on treatment for curing their diseases.

In Hebrews 13:5, God said, “Keep your eyes free from the love of money and be content with what you have, never will I leave you”.

Another desire is “Craving for food”. They are always worrying about eating and drinking only. Eat to live, but not live to eat. One should have desires, but, they must be within limits, and others should not suffer, due to our greediness.

As Jesus said: “Greediness is the root cause for man’s down fall”.

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How to manage Anger?

When emotions run high and thoughts run amok, even a calm person may become a victim of anger. It is a proved fact that the emotional life of an individual frequently influences one’s health and also the personality.

Studies indicate that for 1/3 to 1/2 of patients who are consulting physicians because of physical symptoms have no bodily diseases or ailments, but they are due to emotional factors. It is important to observe that physicians have to study the patient as a whole.

The effect of emotions on bodily changes is apparent in many gastrointestinal disorders, in the form of nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, indigestion abdominal discomfort and diarrhea and ultimately leading to peptic ulcer.

Emotions also affect central nervous system causing anger and stress, which can disrupt lives as much as an earthquake (which can alter biography). The present century is labeled by many as “the age of anger and anxiety”.

Anger can harm an individual’s physical and social health, since it is a manifestation of selfish, unfulfilled desires. Anger is described as a violent outburst of emotion, stemming from the frustration of the individual. Anger is “one letter short of danger”. Hence it should be avoided, under any circumstances.

At the time of angry, the hormones “epinephrine and nor-epinephrine” are secreted in excessive quantities, leading to increase in the heart rate and rise in blood pressure and also the blood vessels are contracted and increase in the incidence of premature heart diseases. An angry person frequently loses his memory, knowledge necessary or logical thinking and proper human behavior. Angry starts wit minor irritation and it can grow into an obsession, that disease the mind.

When the power of discrimination is lost, the individual falls to a level of almost zero stage. Anger is also known as temporary madness. Of course, all of us are victims of anger at one time or other. Anger gives rise to injustice, persecution, jealousy, cruelty, physical and verbal abuse or rash behavior.

Anger management tips: Self discipline and self-management plays a key role in controlling the anger.

1. Take a deep breath before confronting. It helps you to be in control of the situation.

2. One should be aware of oneself when one is getting angry and this awareness alone can remove all traces of anger. Art of relaxation is to be developed.

3. One should learn to adapt to any situations so that taming anger out of stress is possible.

4. Take a walk till you feel at peace with yourself and then return.

5. Scream into your pillow.

6. Grab a joke book and laugh your heart out, because laughter is the best medicine, especially for anger.

7. Write down whatever makes you angry and don’t stop till you are drained out of anger.

8. Count 50 numbers (10 is not sufficient) and the anger will be out of your mind.

Quote: “He, who angers you, conquers you”. If you conquer anger, then you will be sure to win the battle.

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How to overcome worry?

Worry is an enemy of your life and also a big hindrance to your personality development. It is worry, which in the long run, spoils our life, affects our personality development and also drives us to ruins.

This is the quote in "Twelth Night" - “I am sure care is an enemy to your life”. Here care means “worry”.

Mahatma Gandhi rightly said, “There is nothing that wastes the body like worry”.

The usual causes of worry are: Problems that cause worry are as different as how people react to problems. Generally people with positive thinking can face problems effectively than people with negative mindset. That’s why problem solvers rose quickly to top positions in companies. We should not think about problems but should focus our energy on how to solve them.

Effects of worry on the body:

1. Hyperacidity in the stomach: The golden saying is “If you weep, your stomach weeps”. Weeping stimulates the nerves of the stomach, there by more secretion of hydrochloric is produced, which in turn damages (eats) the stomach (gastric) walls, leading to “peptic ulcer”.

2. Worry causes stress and strain: Due to constant stress, the brain and nerves have to bear the brunt the person suffer from –high blood pressure ,which leads to heart strokes and brain strokes ( paralysis).

“What is this life with full of care, we have no time to stand and stare”.

How overcome worry and be happy?

Two types of remedies are available:

1. Scientifically: If you have strong will power and self-confidence, you can easily overcome the worry. As per the great Napoleon (emperor of France), “Nothing is impossible to human beings”.
As H. w. Longfellow wrote,

“The cares they infest the day,
Shall fold their tents like Arabs,
And as silently steal away”.

Music is one remedy of cares, anxieties and worries. That is why our shrines (holy places of worship) are with full of divine musical songs which smoothen our jarring nerves.

2. Spiritually: The famous quotation is: “Worrying is disbelieving in God”. If you have faith in God, you will not worry. Most of the people (devotees) say that we believe in God, but still worry is troubling us. Believing means –not simple belief or so called part time belief, but total surrender to God, the Almighty.

Problem is a sign of life means you did something which went wrong that is common in life. Learn from it and march towards success. This is the way of life.

Don't forget that problems are signs of life while worry is an enemy of life. Great people find happiness in solving the problems.

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